"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." J. Danforth Quayle

Sunday, February 19, 2012

This is the dawning of the Age of Colossus (where peace is compulsory... freedom is forbidden... and Man's greatest invention could be Man's greatest mistake).

Ah, computers. I love them. I'm a sci-fi geek so how could I not.  However, if it is possible to be both a geek and a Luddite and I am one. I love playing around with my gadgets, my toys and my apps as much as any person, but I also find myself resisting change. When I get a new computer with the newest operating system the first thing I do is reset the desktop to something that most resembles Windows 95.

As the complexity of computer programs continues to expand so does the necessity for technical support. The web is filled with resources for the expert and the newbie alike. The best of these take the form of YouTube videos where you actually see the cursor moving across the screen. It doesn't matter if the narrator sounds like Ben Stein in Ferris Bueller's Day Off - these are the most helpful. Second to that are the tools and tutorials that take the form of screenshots of your computer screen showing precisely where to put your mouse to perform the action you are seeking.

The worst are those that simply say use thefrimjamitz  ribbon  to activate this Norcor and include the SQL code swizzles Creddles scrum. But as I have been struggling to master the rudiments of Microsoft Access 2007, it has become clear that my biggest obstacle is finding the proper terminology to phrase my question.  This limits my applicability of "answers" I find, and when I find one myself it turns out to be easier than anything I see on the web. I don't know the solution, but if you know Access, and want to help me out, you get a complementary bottle of Uncle Scotty's Atomic Retrofire Hot Sauce.


  1. I don't really know Access that well. Excel - I'm your guy. I do know some people that know Access pretty well. What's the problem?

    Useless trivia: Just saw a 25th anniversary thing on Ferris Bueller. Ben Stein's economics lecture was improvised. And an even more useless fact: I am currently wearing an Abe Froman Sauasge King of chicago t-shirt.

  2. I have a field of hyperlinks in a table. I want the word "View#" to be inserted by a form at the start of each automatically.

  3. Two things come to mind. The first is the Excel guy in me. You can do a find and replace is all the links start the same. Find and replace "www" with "View#www" would do it in Excel.

    The other is more Access but doesn't use a Form. I believe the computer world word is concatenate. It would basically add a field of "View#" that you would have to create to the field of hyperlinks. If you google "concatenate in access" you should find some examples.

    Hope it helps.